Emotional Wellness in the Era of Social Media

I had an eye opening experience in 2021.

I'll give you a little background to show you how vulnerable trauma makes you.

2018-Walked out of an abusive marriage and got a good job in Nairobi

2019-Our agency's main client went bankrupt, the agency started struggling to pay us. I quit after months of no salaries

2020-I went back home. Lost all my personal stuff mpaka nguo za mtoto.

TBH I was hustling day and night to get back on my feet. I've always been that resilient girl.

Home became hostile. Here I always tell the modern parent, your child will come home one day beaten blue and black by the world. Give them a little peace and acceptance for some time as they rebuild their dreams. Sometimes that's all they need. Never think a small setback has now made your child worthless. Never insult or batter them and humiliate them because of failure.

I ran off and went to live with my mother-in-law. It was quite calm over there. Then I gathered some cash from writing and went off to start life in a bedsitter.

That was what I was going through as I cracked people up with Wa wanjiru sagas

Then, of course trauma doesn't vanish. I still had so many years to unpack-so I was in every 'healing' dialogue, both the good and the awful.

Some were harmful-I didn't even have the basic emotional intelligence to tell this.

But I do remember my turning point.

Someone started a troll party on me... it was a fellow influencer.

I saw it and tried to explain what had transpired. The drama spread like wildfire.

I almost had a nervous breakdown. I went to seek solace in a healer 'friend'.

Then after bawling my eyes out to them, after they saw me falling apart, I went home and received screenshots of her telling other healing community members she was having the best day of her life because I was being torn apart.

I didn't have the tools that I have now to handle social media bullying of such massive altitude. The only reason I didn't self harm that day is because I have a daughter.

Yes, in this social media you can surround yourself with people who will make the concotion that drives you to the grave. And they will pubicly type RIP with a lot of feigned sadness. And you get into these traps because of the unprocessed trauma you carry, your subconscious patterns, your co-dependency.

I was lucky enough to meet an actual therapist and I started healing from that codependency that made me place myself among crocodiles in the name of friendship and influencership. People who will bite off and keep biting as long as you're offering yourself.

I also learned to handle my crises with a real number of actual friends and family, and to ALWAYS seek help from TRAINED and CERTIFIED Mental Health Experts.

Nowadays I handle crises privately, and let people know 'kulienda' (it hapenned) when the worst has blown over.

This is also why I offer information for things people might be going through emotionally, but have no one to confide in. Because sometimes, these social media 'cries for help' happen when your primary support system has broken down or shunned you.

I also vividly remember everyone that trolled me, and ensure our boundaries remain permanently intact because I am never joining them in wrecking me again.

Because in this social media people will laugh at you, direct you to harmful places or troll you all the way to your grave when you're going through every type of trauma under the sun.

The key is being your own keeper. Your best friend.