The Day I Almost Became a Deleter-Just for Laughs

-


Anyway,

Even me I almost became a deleter the other day. A deleter is Gikuyu for an adulterer. To delete is to commit adultery.

This mubaba I met used to tell me very sad stories about his crazy baby mama.
I was not pulling very well that time and I also had red and green color blindness. So I was seeing red flags as green flags.
Anyway, we spoke and spoke and spoke
He future faked and faked and faked until I entered box
Now the most hilarious thing happened on the day of deleting
You know how most people complain deleting was a waste of sin because the deleter did not have enough furniture for the room?
Weeeh….
That one it is like he is a descendant of donkeys
Me I saw that thing and realized it is not going to work
Anyway, we tried Vaseline and lube and he started joking about low mileage.
I refused discomfort,
He went home very angry
Then he posted a photo of himself, his ‘crazy’ baby mama and their child
Alaaar!!!
I did not even respond to the vayolens…I have a lot of respect for that woman by the way. Women accommodate a lot.
Then the following day I got a writing client who wanted me to review sex toys
I thought-the universe really wants me to try huge things and expand my territories.
Me I cannot be able. If we are deleting, it is with normal human with normal body parts.
To be DELETED😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In Memory of Cecy Gaitho and Wisdom Martin Gaitho

-
Image
We all agree that Cecy's was one of the most heartbreaking kenya suicide case in recent times. But:  Picture this, You're raised in a strictly religious home, but by a very unbalanced and violent father. In fact, the terror visited on your mom by your Dad is so intense that it makes all your siblings swear off marriage for life. Some become nuns and other kinds of religious fanatics. You're the smart girl, and you excel in school. So as soon as you start working, the entire home's financial burdens become your own. You struggle to keep afloat, self abandonment becomes your pattern as the demands never end. Then, unknowingly, you replicate this pattern of abandonment in your love life. Now you are left with a child to raise. He becomes your reason to live, your only hope. Until one day the worst imaginable thing happens. It hits you in the worst way because, your child is no more It doesn't end there. Your colleagues come together and contribute towards the baby'
Read more

My Mother Dumped Me in the Toilet Immediately After Birth

-
Image
  “I was born at home, on the Third  day of June, 1985, to a single mother of one. Immediately my mother gave birth to me, she dumped me in the toilet…”   This is the story of Martha, who like many others, came to learn later in life that motherhood does not always come with love for the offspring. She narrates how her complicated relationship with her mother drove her into countless convenience marriages and almost suicide.    “I am told that well-wishers who heard a baby crying inside a pit latrine rescued me and took me to the Thika General Hospital. On arrival, the doctors cleaned me up and stabilized me. There was a couple that was having a difficult time getting a child, and they happened to be at the hospital at the time of my admission. As soon as they heard the story, they offered to 'buy' me.     The nurses and other hospital staff were secretly conducting my sale. My auntie, who had accompanied my rescue team had briefly left to record a statement with the police whe
Read more