Dysfunctional Home Setups and Roles Played by Members

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We've had an absolutely amazing ending to our Mental Health Awareness month. Our theme was Healing Childhood Trauma

Transformational coach Carolyne Gaithuma spoke about the roles people play in a dysfunctional family setup. She outlined these roles:
1. The Scapegoat-this is the one who gets the blame/ negative energy of the entire family's dysfunction. He/she is the rebel, the black sheep. The scapegoat has been conditioned to think negative attention is better than none-so they act up.
2. The Caretaker: This is the parentified child. The one who fixes all the problem. You know that brother who pays fees for everyone. The one who has stepped into the role of one or both parents because they were absent or aloof. Their role is to hide the family's nakedness by throwing money at it and refusing to let everyone take responsibility for their negative actions.
3. The hero: This is the golden child. The one who gets the A's, gets the perfect job, husband, wife, life etc. He or she is the example all the others should emulate.
4. The Mascot: This is the family entertainer or joker-his role is to make people laugh and distract them from the dysfunction and the chaos it brings.
5. The Identified Patient: This is the family member who 'doesn't have their life in order' the one you are always holding intervention meetings for. The one you're always pooling money together to pay rent for or bail out of some other financial or personal mess. The family keeps this member needy because helping them is what makes them unite.
6. the Lost Child: This is the family member who simply withdraws from the rest and tiptoes around them to avoid drawing attention to themselves. They often feel neglected and alone, and become very introverted.
According to coach, these patterns become your identity and you will find them defining your friendships and romantic relationships.
Therapist Jessica likened the roles to the layers of an onion. The process of healing is peeling off these layers and discovering your authentic self. The one that would have existed without the trauma of the family's dysfunction.
Which role do you play in your family setup? Would you like to heal and transform it? Follow this dialogue right here on this page, Jessica's Page or Coach Carolyne's page for details

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