Healing the Inner Child: Types of Inner Child Wounds

 

As explained in the first post, your inner child wounds stem from the mental and emotional pain you go through in early childhood, which recedes to the subconcious mind and doesn't heal.

The emotional pain is from unconscious parenting patterns and adverse childhood experiences.

The four most common inner child wounds come from:

1. Abandonment

2. Neglect

3. Trust

4. Guilt

....

Let's talk about Abandonment.

A while back, my good friend was seeing this gentleman who seemed like a keeper. But she kept saying something about him being afraid of being left.

So she would entertain us with tales of how every night during the deed, he would make her swear to never leave her.

"Usiniache babe....niahidi hautaniacha,"

Back then we didn't think much of it, in fact, we thought it was sweet.

Ironically, the first time they had an argument, she told him she needed time alone. She was contemplating ending the relationship, but hadn't decided. And so, she spent a few days without going to his place. He slept with another girl she had seen him flirting with on social media even before the breakup.

She was stunned because, from the usiniache, he seemed like the one most afraid of losing her.

When I look back at this story, the guy's behavior now makes perfect sense. He was a classic guy with abandonment wounds. When you grow up around people who always leave you when you need them, you learn to anticipate the departure, and how to mask or cover your pain.

So, this guy had become a serial monogamist as a way of coping with his abandonment wound. As in, he always had a backup girlfriend he was grooming, in case the main one decided to leave.

And by doing so, he was sabotaging all his relationships in a cyclic mess.

Another interesting thing hapenned:

When our girl found out that he had someone else, she got triggered big time, and stormed his place. There was a massive fight between the outgoing and the incoming.

But again see the irony in the fact that she had been contemplating leaving, but got triggered when he got someone else.

So her action of storming his place was not her conscious mind, but her inner child trying to reverse the abandonment that had just hapenned.

....

Interesting, huh?

The conscious adults had left the relationship, and the wounded children in them were now out lashing out at one another.

The interesting thing about these wounds, and the shadows they create, is that they align you with your vibrational matches until you find and heal those wounds.

What do I mean?

In this case, a balanced person would have found it odd that a grown man was begging not to be left even before there were signs of the leaving, and stepped back to assess the entanglement before getting hurt.

Therefore:

As within, so without. (What happens around you is a reflection of your inner state)

We heal so that we can stop attracting the same negative cycles of relatioship experiences to ourselves.