Healing the Inner Child-How the Abandonment wound Shows Up

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As a child, you depend on others to meet your physical and emotional needs. If they do not, you internalize this as rejection. You might have the abandonment wound if in your childhood:

1. Your parent/caregiver left, died, got divorced or you were left in a foster care.
2. You were physically or emotionally abused through physical beatings and insults.
3. Your parents didn't provide for your needs
4. You had a parent who was a drug addict or alcoholic and therefore, emotionally unavailable
5. Your parents travelled a lot for work and stayed away for long periods
....
These experiences might register the defective program in your subconscious that
a. People leave your life because you are unworthy.
b. Or that people always leave.
As a result, you could be exhibiting these symptoms in your friendships, love relationships and other interpersonal relationships:
.Chronic Insecurities-the subconscious suspicion there is something wrong with you and as soon as the other person figures it out, they will also leave.
.Re-enacting the trauma- where you unconsciously get into relationships with unreliable or emotionally unavailable people and repeat the abandonment scenario in an endless loop.
.Pervasive Unworthiness- where you struggle to believe you deserve great things in life and constantly give yourself the negative self talk.
.Distrust- Once someone you depended on abandons you, you learn to avoid that pain by building walls and refusing to be vulnerable or to let people in. This is a defense mechanism to avoid pain, but it also keeps love from friends and others away.
. Self-sabotaging Relationships- as an adult, you are stuck between fear of abandonment and fear of getting engulfed in a relationship. So you 'blow hot and cold' on the significant other.
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The way to handle abandonment wounds is to always remember this: The abandoned inner child is now in the care of an adult: YOU
Only you can reparent the child with gentleness, love, inner safety and care until she learns to trust you/himself/herself and the world.
In 2.3 We can discuss how abandonment wounds lead to co-dependency in adulthood.

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