Healing the Inner Child-How the Abandonment wound Shows Up

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As a child, you depend on others to meet your physical and emotional needs. If they do not, you internalize this as rejection. You might have the abandonment wound if in your childhood:

1. Your parent/caregiver left, died, got divorced or you were left in a foster care.
2. You were physically or emotionally abused through physical beatings and insults.
3. Your parents didn't provide for your needs
4. You had a parent who was a drug addict or alcoholic and therefore, emotionally unavailable
5. Your parents travelled a lot for work and stayed away for long periods
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These experiences might register the defective program in your subconscious that
a. People leave your life because you are unworthy.
b. Or that people always leave.
As a result, you could be exhibiting these symptoms in your friendships, love relationships and other interpersonal relationships:
.Chronic Insecurities-the subconscious suspicion there is something wrong with you and as soon as the other person figures it out, they will also leave.
.Re-enacting the trauma- where you unconsciously get into relationships with unreliable or emotionally unavailable people and repeat the abandonment scenario in an endless loop.
.Pervasive Unworthiness- where you struggle to believe you deserve great things in life and constantly give yourself the negative self talk.
.Distrust- Once someone you depended on abandons you, you learn to avoid that pain by building walls and refusing to be vulnerable or to let people in. This is a defense mechanism to avoid pain, but it also keeps love from friends and others away.
. Self-sabotaging Relationships- as an adult, you are stuck between fear of abandonment and fear of getting engulfed in a relationship. So you 'blow hot and cold' on the significant other.
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The way to handle abandonment wounds is to always remember this: The abandoned inner child is now in the care of an adult: YOU
Only you can reparent the child with gentleness, love, inner safety and care until she learns to trust you/himself/herself and the world.
In 2.3 We can discuss how abandonment wounds lead to co-dependency in adulthood.

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